Sorry, ran out of rhymes for Pimp and Simp. If you come up with something applicable, let me know. You’ll win a t-shirt. It won’t be branded or anything, but still. Free shirt.
Domestic Violence – F
Strangulation – F
Human Trafficking – F
Prostitution-Accept Earnings of Prostitute – F
McClain was arrested for allegedly forcing his ‘girlfriend’ to have sex for money, and other charges related to domestic violence and human trafficking. According to court records, Boise police received a 911 call from the Red Lion in Downtown Boise. Police made contact with the calling party, who told them her boyfriend, McClain had been arranging ‘dates’ for her online in exchange for cash (which he kept).
The two had allegedly been on a mini-tour, setting up similar operations in Portland and Salt Lake City in recent weeks.
Domestic Battery – F
Assault or Battery on a Police Officer – F
Dispatch’s Razer:
The further a bodily fluid travels, the more insulting it is.
For example, kissing your partner on the lips is a perfectly fine and acceptable practice around the world….
However, spitting in an ISP Trooper’s open mouth is a felony.
Eluding – F
Sudano was arrested after leading police on a high speed chase down Eagle Road late last night. According to court records, Meridian PD officers tried to pull Sudano over near Eagle and Ustick for reckless driving. Sudano apparently had plans that didn’t involve going to jail, so he took off through the fog, blowing stoplights, stop signs and reaching speeds of 110 mph.
Sudano was eventually forced off the road by an ISP trooper near the intersection of Ustick and McDermott. He told the trooper he had a couple of drinks prior to driving, and blew a .11 on the breathalyzer.
Eluding – F
According to court records, Polk led police on a chase at over 110 MPH along the interstate on December 19th, 2023.
DUI – M
Cruelty to Animals – M
I’m including this one because the charges paint a much worse picture than the actual crime.
According to court records, Duran was pulled over for allegedly making an illegal U-turn near the intersection of Franklin and 11th at 2:00 AM last night. She met all the decision points for DUI and was taken into custody. The additional cruelty to animals charge was added because she had her dog in the car at the time of the DUI.
She didn’t beat the dog, burn the dog, or have the dog tied to the back bumper as she drove along. She just had it in the car at the time of her arrest.
Still not great, but not as psychopathic as the charges make it seem.
One Response
There was a little girl (or boy, as the case may be)
BY HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.